Here's some things that I find to be very amusing.
I hope you do, too. If anything I have to say offends you, you are warned to sail away from this page. My students have told me many times that I have a very goofy sense of humor. I've also been told by several people that the only reason that they no longer studied martial arts was because their teacher was "a total assh*le". Here, I'd like to prove everything about me is TRUE! I take what I do very seriously, but don't take myself very seriously at all.
I was talking to the Mrs. earlier about this really awful horror flick I saw in the 1970's at a drive-in. The television ads would exclaim "There's only one thing wrong with the baby...IT"S ALIVE!
It was such a bad movie, that true to form it spawned a sequel!
Even more shocking is that it was titled "It's Alive, 2". (It's Alive, Too - get it?) The lady breast feeding the little monster might not be smiling when she gets a taste of those wicked, baleful teeth!
Then, because you can't keep a bad movie down, they made "It's Alive III: Island of the Alive".
I went to my mailbox, and opened up a catalog with this ad. I must say that I was really offended. "It's Alive" is a classic? I think this critter would be great in a ventriloquism act. "So, Billy - I hear your parents have three children." Billy says "Yeah, one of each kind".
I only hope that the guy on the left didn't spend the $69.95 plus the expensive shipping and handling on this DVD.
"What the? A choke? Damn! I never thought of that one! I sure hope I can find my receipt!"
Perhaps the guy on the right is saying "$69.95 was worth every penny so I could do THIS!"
I can save you some money by recommending poking your attacker in the eye, kicking his testicles, punching their throat, etc. I warn you, however, this takes MINUTES to master. It's also a good idea that the bad guy does not fight back, but just stands there like a lump of jello.
I think Steve Martin has a very good idea for self defense - if you think someone is about to rob you, throw up on your money .
Your Lightsaber and You. I love this Star Wars "Fan Film". It's really clever. Click the pic to watch it.
I also like the word "pants" substituted in key dialogue from Star Wars. "I find your lack of pants disturbing". "You are unwise to lower your pants". "You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought".
Yeah, one night when I was out chasing the raccoons out of the garbage cans using a really bright flashlight to blind them, I got hit by a bright beam of light from out of the sky.
I looked up and was instantly
blinded. The next thing I knew I was aboard a FLYING SAUCER!
Next, these little funny looking guys wanted to do some kind of weird experiments on me. Well, I was not about to let that happen! No, Sir! I burst into the cockpit, and wrestled the steering wheel away from them and took control of the spacecraft.
While we were fighting for control of the vessel, I crashed into some kind of monument in Washington, D.C. (actually this is from "Earth vs. The Flying Saucers"1956).