Here's some things that I find to be very amusing.

I hope you do, too. If anything I have to say offends you, you are warned to sail away from this page. My students have told me many times that I have a very goofy sense of humor. I've also been told by several people that the only reason that they no longer studied martial arts was because their teacher was "a total assh*le". Here, I'd like to prove everything about me is TRUE! I take what I do very seriously, but don't take myself very seriously at all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was talking to the Mrs. earlier about this really awful horror flick I saw in the 1970's at a drive-in. The television ads would exclaim "There's only one thing wrong with the baby...IT"S ALIVE!

It was such a bad movie, that true to form it spawned a sequel!

Even more shocking is that it was titled "It's Alive, 2". (It's Alive, Too - get it?) The lady breast feeding the little monster might not be smiling when she gets a taste of those wicked, baleful teeth!

Then, because you can't keep a bad movie down, they made "It's Alive III: Island of the Alive".

I went to my mailbox, and opened up a catalog with this ad. I must say that I was really offended. "It's Alive" is a classic? I think this critter would be great in a ventriloquism act. "So, Billy - I hear your parents have three children." Billy says "Yeah, one of each kind".

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I only hope that the guy on the left didn't spend the $69.95 plus the expensive shipping and handling on this DVD.

"What the? A choke? Damn! I never thought of that one! I sure hope I can find my receipt!"

Perhaps the guy on the right is saying "$69.95 was worth every penny so I could do THIS!"

I can save you some money by recommending poking your attacker in the eye, kicking his testicles, punching their throat, etc. I warn you, however, this takes MINUTES to master. It's also a good idea that the bad guy does not fight back, but just stands there like a lump of jello.

I think Steve Martin has a very good idea for self defense - if you think someone is about to rob you, throw up on your money .

 

 

Your Lightsaber and You. I love this Star Wars "Fan Film". It's really clever. Click the pic to watch it.

I also like the word "pants" substituted in key dialogue from Star Wars. "I find your lack of pants disturbing". "You are unwise to lower your pants". "You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought".

 

In all seriousness, I have a deep respect for Gene Rodenberry's vision of the future for humanity. We have learned to move beyond our petty differences and ridiculous prejudices and pooled our resources and considerable talents to explore space. Gene has said that in the future, there is no hunger. There is nothing material to fight over. We no longer made war against each other. We have arrived at the next stage
I enjoy the U.S. Air Force ads. "Air Force Aim High". Of course you have to aim high at a flying object. If you aim low you'll miss! I've even seen one commercial that shows a team of SCUBA divers emerge from the surf carrying M-16 and Car-15 firearms. The ad went on to say that this was an Air Force advertisement.
Big Damn Bridge I wonder what this bridge ever did to deserve such a nasty name.

Yeah, one night when I was out chasing the raccoons out of the garbage cans using a really bright flashlight to blind them, I got hit by a bright beam of light from out of the sky.

I looked up and was instantly blinded. The next thing I knew I was aboard a FLYING SAUCER!

Next, these little funny looking guys wanted to do some kind of weird experiments on me. Well, I was not about to let that happen! No, Sir! I burst into the cockpit, and wrestled the steering wheel away from them and took control of the spacecraft.

While we were fighting for control of the vessel, I crashed into some kind of monument in Washington, D.C. (actually this is from "Earth vs. The Flying Saucers"1956).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Uh, excuse me sir. Is this your shuriken? 2011 saw the passing of one of my most beloved actors, Peter Falk. His television series "Columbo" showcased some of the most distinguished actors, and gave many up and coming thespians a first shot. I love Johnny Cash, and he did an episode that showed he was also a talented actor.

 

While on one of our many visits to museums, I overheard a woman from a family of four ask "Is this the ORIGINAL bomb dropped on Japan?" After I quit laughing, I tried to explain. "Yes," I said. "You have no idea how hard it was to collect all the various atomic particles and separate what was left after the explosion." "Even more difficult was reassembling all the pieces." Her son then asked me if "this bomb could still explode." I told him to find out for himself. He then KICKED it. My friend Phil had a similar experience at the Johnson Space Center. Someone next to him asked if that was the original L.E.M. that landed on the moon. "Of course" he said. "You have no idea how difficult it was to bring it all the way back from the moon".
As a graphic artist, I enjoy doing animated gifs. Here, the immortal Bruce Lee asks "Why did you kill my teacher?" "Why, why, why, why?". He would likely have answered Bruce if he could catch his breath from being repeatedly punched in the stomach.
I love subcompact cars. What is most important to me is visibilty, reliability, manuverablitity, fuel efficent and short braking distance in my opinion. I've been at the wheel of some genuine muscle cars as the 1967 Ford Mustang, and the Datsun 240ZX Turbo. It's just too much fun! These giant SUV and Hummer have tailgated me, and when we arrive at the same parking lot - I give them a piece of my mind for their rude behavior.